Before this get’s started NO there isn’t surveys or doctor’s feedback in this article but one persons view on their thoughts and mindset on how they are dealing with the topic at hand. So if you find any insight or understanding then it has found its purpose but if not then I hope it brings some insight to how other’s think.
Working in the medical field you would think you would have a numb side to death and most of the time you do. But when this Pandemic hit you could feel that this was different. Preventive care wasn’t explained properly at first then for it not being fully understood what the illness actually was. I felt like we were headed into deadly territory and sad to say I saw first hand how deadly it would become. Seeing families in fear and then seeing your own family starting to feel the effects of it and your helpless to guide them because no one has the right answers just guesses. The fear is a level you see in movies where everyone panics and stopple over each other to escape the danger. But no screen could cover the amount of damage the world would feel let alone one person in the medical field.
I think I started wondering about my life when I had to constantly reassure my family that I was okay. Sometimes wondering am I really? It wasn’t a secrete that I wasn’t happy where I was and the precautions that was being offered but I also knew it was basically the same everywhere so there was no way of getting away from that feeling of uncertainty. So to have a higher anxiety than normal was very present. I think with every tempt reading anxiety would go up a decimal. As the death count started rising in Houston the realization that I was going to be dealing with it soon in some fashion was coming to the light. I don’t think I was fully prepared for how fast nor how in depth I would feel it though.
I first started to deal with it when I started getting the symptoms of the virus but I was A symptomatic which means I had the symptoms but not the virus itself. But when my patients started dying from the virus it got real. Then when friends started passing and coworkers that’s when it was time to make a decision to either run or stand ground and to be honest I was too scared to run from something I couldn’t run from. I used my limited protective gear for no other reason but for reassuring my patient’s wouldn’t pass feeling alone. But being in the medical field you don’t just deal with one type of virus. You deal with multiple and that’s when I met my biggest challenge. Every virus does not always get along with other viruses. Now add in limited protective gear and with that you have a week’s stay in a hospital filled to the brim with covid cases and your stuck there.
How do you cope?
How do you maintain your sanity?
Your family sanity since they can’t see you?
for me it’s part comedy relief and meditation. From making nurses who were treating me laugh when my arm was the size of a flintstone character to constantly reminding myself that it could be worse and it’s not so chill out. Plus not wanting to add fear into your friends and family because they KNOW YOU. Your that person who doesn’t duck when gun fire is in the building or stand down to bulling towards you or others. Nothing scares you. Until now.
Until now your confidence is shook. Your livelihood isn’t the same. Nothing around you is the same. You are not the same. Your mid life crisis has been bumped up to your early 40’s instead of 50’s and your clueless to what to do. You can’t visit anyone because your in a pandemic so that means no doctor, pastor or even friends to visit. Everything is televised and everything on the TV is barely factual or positive, so how do you cope?
Dig deep into your faith. Whatever it is breath into it. Become one and deposit love into it.
Remember your core self. Know who you wanted to be as a person and continue to strive to be that person.
Love what you have become. That means accepting the bad improving your weakness but taking mental note of your progress and being proud of what you improved on and know it’s okay to pat yourself on your back. its not being stuck up its self love.
And most of all don’t ever feel likes its not okay to talk to someone. That’s what friends and family is for including Doctor’s and Pastor’s and counselors.
If this pandemic has taught us anything is that life is short and you can live it with sadness or you can live.
Let’s try living in the life.