Spiritual Transformation: 9 Signs You’re Evolving

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Something is shifting, morphing, and evolving in your life. These alchemical changes might be subtle or shocking, sudden or progressive … but whatever the case, something is transforming below the surface. You are like the caterpillar dissolving in its cocoon.

Perhaps life is heading in a surprising direction. New doors may be opening to you, out of the blue. Synchronicities may increase. And what haunted you before is beginning to fade away. You just aren’t the same person you used to be – and this can feel disorienting yet titillating!

What is Spiritual Transformation?

Spiritual transformation is what happens when we evolve on the level of the Soul. Like a lotus flower (which is symbolic of inner alchemy), we emerge from the muddy waters of the ego into a more divinely expanded version of ourselves. Spiritual transformation can happen slowly throughout time or in an unexpected, fast, or intense way.

Examples of Spiritual Transformation

To help illustrate spiritual transformation in a more nuanced way, here are a few common experiences of spiritual transformation that people have:

  • Letting go of an old toxic pattern or behavior
  • No longer feeling limited by a certain trauma
  • Becoming more authentic and soul-centered
  • Desiring to open up rather than shut down (and hide)

Of course, there are endless possibilities when it comes to spiritual transformation. Can you relate to any of the above examples? (If you have your own unique story to share, feel free to write it in the comments below.) 

Spiritual Transformation vs. Spiritual Awakening (What’s the Difference?)

While spiritual awakening and spiritual transformation sound similar and are certainly connected, these two experiences are different. Let me explain why, just to clear up any confusion:

Spiritual awakening is an umbrella term that refers to the spiritual path as a whole. Spiritual transformation, on the other hand, is what happens within the spiritual journey

Another way of distinguishing these two terms is by seeing spiritual awakening as a force of change that happens at the very beginning of the spiritual journey. And spiritual transformation is what happens near the end of the spiritual journey.

Keep in mind, though, that the spiritual journey is cyclical – so we may undergo a transformation and then begin a new era of awakening which will eventually lead to another transformation. The cycle is an ever-expanding mandala.

9 Signs You’re Experiencing a Spiritual Transformation

In essence, spiritual transformation is about returning closer and closer to the Centre of our being. It is a culmination point where all of our effort, all of our inner work, all of our spiritual journeying begins to ‘pay off.’ However, the rewards we receive are not always what we expect – they are what we need rather than what we want. (Of course, it’s entirely possible to get what we both want and need.)

As a cyclical process, spiritual transformation is bound to happen to all of us walking the spiritual path not just once, but many times over – each time helping us to embody deeper layers of our True Nature.

Here are some key signs of spiritual transformation. How many can you identify in your own life?

1. Old ways of being disintegrate

You begin noticing thought patterns, habits, beliefs, and other limiting ways of being crumble – they don’t have the same hold on you as they once did. This dissolution or death and rebirth can cause you to feel many different feelings. Some people feel relief and gratitude, while others feel nervous and on-edge. Whatever the case, just know that it’s part of the natural flux of spiritual transformation.

2. New doorways open

You might be presented with new and unexpected opportunities for growth. In particular, synchronicities (or meaningful coincidences) will increase, and you’ll feel like you’re living ‘in the flow.’ Whatever you do seems to yield important results and there’s no longer what feels like an ‘invisible barrier’ preventing you from progressing.

3. Letting go and surrendering

You feel more comfortable letting Life take over the driving seat for a while, trusting in its wisdom. Letting go, letting be, and surrendering to Spirit becomes more second-nature to you. In the past, you would have struggled and resisted a lot, but now, you feel more at peace with ‘handing over the reins.’

4. Self-identity loosens

As you undergo the process of spiritual transformation, the attachment to your ego becomes more transparent. You cease being stuck in limited and rigid ways of being. There’s a freshness and lightness within your mind and heart that makes it easier to be fluid and adaptable. Because your ego lessens, you react less to other people and events that would usually rile you up.

5. Some people in your life leave

This doesn’t always happen, but it’s common to witness people moving on and leaving your life during spiritual transformation. Some say this is because you’re no longer “vibrationally matched” to them – or in more down-to-earth terms, you’ve each learned your lessons from the other and it’s time to get gone. You might feel a sense of relief or alternatively a sense of grief for the departure of those once close to you. Whatever the case, let yourself feel these emotions and know that it’s a necessary part of the cycle of life.

6. Profound insights into the nature of reality

It’s common to receive an influx of deep understanding about your life and the universe during spiritual transformation. These epiphanies are often referred to as ‘cosmic downloads’ – it’s as if your head opens and you’re absorbing all there is to know about the Great Mystery. What was once hidden or obscured now becomes clear, and the puzzle pieces of your life begin to fit together.

7. Energetic purging and detoxification

Perhaps one of the less enjoyable aspects of spiritual transformation is what I call energetic purging and detoxification. This purification is usually manifested in our bodies and can sometimes become quite disruptive. Another name for this experience is undergoing a kundalini awakening where the primal life force energy rises within us, and with it, clears out old ‘energetic blockages.’ 

8. More inner security and trust in Life

Most of us live our lives in a state of near-constant anxiety. Even if we’re not consciously aware of this fear, it’s always lurking at a deeper subconscious level. During spiritual transformation, some (and in very rare cases, all) of this looming anxiety dissolves. What we’re left with is more trust in the unfathomable wisdom of Life or the Divine. We understand that everything is working for us, not against us. This enhanced trust leads to feelings of greater inner security as we come to see that nothing can truly touch our Essence.

9. Deepening love and compassion

Finally, we come to one of the most (if not the most) beautiful aspects of spiritual transformation: love. Our connection with our heart increases and sometimes expands to feelings of compassion for all beings. The hatred and resentment we once felt towards certain people bursts and is replaced with understanding, love, and oftentimes grief for their pain. We experience what is known as Christ Consciousness (or Oneness) where we embrace and simultaneously mourn all beings. Of course, it’s common to experience varying degrees of this heartfulness ranging from more a heart-centered understanding to complete unconditional cosmic love. What’s most important is not how much we experience, but how deeply it impacts us and transforms our old patterns. 

In the end, spiritual transformation is not really something we can control: it is a gift from Life. It’s an organic result of turning inwards, healing our wounds, and seeking freedom. It’s also not something that lasts forever. We may experience a long or short period of transformation, but that will eventually fade away and be replaced with something new. Such is the nature of existence. 🙂

by Aletheia 

Why Faith Is Important

Faith speaks the language of the heart.

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Faith is an expression of hope for something better. More than a wish, it is closer to a belief, but not quite. A belief is rooted in the mind. Faith is based in the heart.

We act in faith when there is no guarantee, no certainty. No one knows what kind of life an infant will have, yet people continue to have children. No one can know how life with our mates will turn out, yet we continue to have faith our relationships will last a lifetime.

Faith speaks the language of the heart. It is an expression of hope that goes beyond the conscious mind.

All that we hold precious rests upon a faith in people, their potential not yet fulfilled. The evidence of history points us in a different direction—the world is full of ugliness, brutality, and injustices. Yet there is also tenderness, kindness, and concern and that takes the bigger part of our hearts.

Without faith in ourselves, we would hold ourselves cheap, and without faith in others, we could never live as free people. This is the water that quenches parched souls.

Here is a famous parable: Once a traveler came across an old woman who was stooped over what appeared to be thin sticks. He asked the woman what she was doing.

“I am planting orange trees,” she explained.

The traveler thought this was a waste of her time.

“Why do you bother?” he asked. “You are an old woman. These saplings will take years before they will be old enough to bear fruit. You will be long gone by then.”

“True enough,” she answered. “But I don’t plant these trees for myself but for those who will come after me, just as those before me planted the trees that bear the fruit that I eat today.”

Arthur Dobrin, DSW, is Professor Emeritus of University Studies, Hofstra University and Leader Emeritus, Ethical Humanist Society of Long Island. He is the author of more than 25 books, including The Lost Art of Happiness and Teaching Right from Wrong

The Importance of Hope

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Despite all the researching, debating, talking, and planning for the upcoming school year, no one can predict how it will all play out. There are too many variables, unprecedented variables that make the return to school so challenging. Simply put, this is an uncertain, scary time for educators, parents, and students. On a larger scale, it’s also an uncertain, scary time for the rest of us, which is why remaining informed, optimistic, and flexible is important.  “Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement,” said Helen Keller, a woman very familiar with insurmountable odds—as well as uncertain, scary times. “Nothing,” she continued, “can be done without hope.” 

Don’t worry. We’re not going to get too saccharine on you. What we are going to do, true to the title of this blog, is talk about the power of hope, a subject often relegated to motivational speakers and wishful thinkers, or yearbook quotes and greeting cards. However, a June 2020 Psychology Today article by Dr. David B. Feldman argues that hope isn’t the same thing as wishful thinking. “It’s not even the same as glass-half-full thinking,” he says. “Hope is applicable even when the glass is only a third full or has nothing in it at all. That’s because real hope isn’t about living in a fantasy world; it’s about living in this one. It doesn’t deny suffering and pain.” He asserts it’s because hope isn’t a delusion, but rather something people very much grounded in the real world, who understand and accept that life can be tough, unfair, and chaotic, use to stay on course and create better realities for themselves. Hope isn’t abstract. It’s very much concrete.  

Hope is “a way of thinking that pushes us to action.” Research finds that when people have hope, they’re more likely to make their goals a reality. When people have a clear belief, a clear hope, about what’s possible, they’re more likely to take the action needed on that goal to bring it to fruition. People with hope are people who are able to envision and pursue a future different than their current reality. They’re able to set clear goals, develop multiple strategies to attain those goals, and stay motivated to reach those goals even when they experience setbacks. 

Studies also show that people with high levels of hope throughout their lives have better physical health, better health behaviors, better social supports, and live longer—it also can lead to fewer chronic health problems, less depression, and less anxiety. Those with consistently high levels of hope are more productive at work, handle stress better, and tolerate pain and adversity better than their less hopeful peers, keeping in mind once again that hope doesn’t mean a blind optimism. The Merriam Webster Dictionary defines hope simply as “to expect with confidence.” Hope makes students better problem solvers and students with hope for their future, who can confidently expect their goals to become realit, are less likely to drop out .  

What might be the most eye-opening revelations regarding the concreteness of hope, is how experts are finding that there may not be a better way to predict student success than how hopeful they are. In an article from The Atlantic entitled “The Role of Adult Mentorship in Children Dealing With Trauma” the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development’s Dr. Valerie Maholmes said that there’s no more important predictor of success than hope, especially in children who come from environments where all circumstantial evidence points to the contrary. She said that children who are able to adapt and overcome adversity tend to have a higher sense of self efficacy, which feeds their senses of competency, and leads to a feeling of control over their environment and destination. To hear it from Dr. Maholmes, hope is one big trickle-down effect.  

In discussing the results of Gallup’s 2018 Survey of K-12 School District Superintendents, Gallup Senior Editor Dr. Jeffrey Jones says that by and large the superintendents surveyed said students’ engagement and hope are actually the best indicators of future success. The survey found that students who are engaged—those involved and enthusiastic about school—are more likely to be hopeful for the future and have better academic performance  than their disengaged peers; in fact, 9 out of 10 K-12 superintendents said hope for the future is a very important measurement of school effectiveness (versus just 1-10 who said standardized tests are very important). Earlier Gallup surveys indicate that students stay engaged (which in turn keeps them in school) when they’re able to connect what they’re learning to their futures and thinking about their futures is what gives students that assumption that a positive outcome can happen—it’s all interconnected.  

The takeaway then, for educators, mentors, family members, and anyone else helping prepare the next generation of workers for career and life success is to work your best to instill a sense of hope in that next generation, especially in these very uncertain times. It’s not something that comes naturally to everyone, but is something that can be cultivated and worked on, and something we’re going to be focusing on the entire month of August as we gear up to what might be the most challenging school year students and educators have faced in some time.  

By VirtualJobShadow.com

Give yourself grace: 8 tips to love who you are right now

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Self-love may seem like just a trendy buzzword on social media these days. You might even write it off as another superficial fad, right up there with face filters and fanny packs (just kidding—fanny packs are dope). But learning to love yourself is essential to your happiness and personal growth. It’s also the starting point for strong, healthy relationships with others.

Recognizing your real value can be challenging, but with a little time and practice, you’ll get there. Start weeding out the self-doubt and negative self-talk today with these eight tips.

1. Do a social media purge.

Are you following someone who’s always posting antagonizing comments or memes? What about accounts that share snapshots of their impossibly perfect lives or unrealistic body goals? While you can’t control what other people post on their page, you can control what pops up on yours. Protect your peace by unfollowing anyone who makes your feel bad about yourself—your fake friend, your local fitness guru, or even your mother-in-law. While you’re at it, find a few new inspiring people or accounts to follow.

2. Take ALL the selfies.

Whether it’s the perfect lighting, a killer red lipstick, or the sudden realization that you look hot as heck, snap the selfie and save it for a confidence booster later. You’re worthy of remembering the times you felt fabulous.

YL tip: Hold the phone far away from your face so the lens doesn’t distort your features; then zoom in to get that perfect shot.

3. Practice self-praise.

We know—we said practice for a reason. Instead of focusing on your perceived flaws when you look in the mirror, give yourself compliments instead. You might feel a little silly at first, but keep it up because self-affirmation can do wonders for your mental health. The more you say something, the more you’ll start to believe it. Remember, if you wouldn’t say it to your best friend or sister, don’t say it to yourself!

YL tip: While you practice self-praise, diffuse the sweet, harmonizing aroma of One Heart™ essential oil blend to inspire you to open your heart to love and acceptance.

4. Treat your body right.

It’s hard to feel positive about yourself and your body if you’re constantly run down. Get your groove back by taking small steps to a happier, healthier you.

5. Write yourself a love letter.

Make a list of your accomplishments or things you like about yourself. No item is too small! Give yourself the praise you deserve and acknowledge all the hard things you’ve overcome, then put your letter under your pillow or by your bed so you can start each day with positive vibes.

6. Schedule a self-care day.

Self-love doesn’t have to be all about bubble baths and spa days, but it definitely doesn’t hurt! Check out these dreamy DIYs and top essential oil tips for the perfect pamper night.

7. Invest in yourself.

Many people, parents especially, tend to put their needs last. But you shouldn’t feel guilty for investing in your dreams—it’ll make you a better friend, spouse, and leader. Take that class, buy that self-help book, grab the essential oil you’ve been eyeing, or splurge for the expensive face cream. You deserve it.

8. Stop comparing.

From our bodies to our hair to how clean our houses are, we’re constantly comparing ourselves to each other. But you are the only you on the planet. Pretty cool, right? Celebrate your uniqueness and know that nobody else is just like you, and that’s a good thing!

From: The Lavender Life / Youngliving.com

Ways to Relieve Back Pain

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Medically Reviewed by Tyler Wheeler, MD on June 07, 2020

Sleep Better


When you have back pain, sleeping can be hard. It can be a vicious cycle because when you don’t get enough sleep, your back pain may feel worse. A poor sleep position can also aggravate back pain. Try lying on your side. Place a pillow between your knees to keep your spine in a neutral position and relieve strain on your back. If you need to sleep on your back, slide a pillow under your knees. Be sure to sleep on a comfortably firm mattress.

Good Posture


Grandma was right! Slouching is bad for you. And poor posture can make back pain worse, especially if you sit for long periods. Don’t slump over your keyboard. Sit upright, with your shoulders relaxed and your body supported against the back of your chair. Try putting a pillow or a rolled towel between your lower back and your seat. Keep your feet flat on the floor.

Medication From the Store


There are two kinds of over-the-counter pain relievers that frequently help with back pain: nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs) and acetaminophen. Both have some side effects, and some people may not be able to take them. Talk to your doctor before taking pain relievers. And don’t expect medication alone to solve your pain problem. Studies show you’ll probably need more than one type of treatment.

Prescription Pain Relievers


Some people may need prescription-strength NSAIDs or opioid medications to help with pain. It is important to talk to your doctor or pharmacist if you are taking any other medications — including over-the-counter medicines — to avoid overdosing on certain active ingredients. Your doctor may also prescribe muscle relaxants to help ease painful muscle spasms.

Antidepressant Medications


Even if you’re not depressed, your doctor may prescribe antidepressant medications as part of the treatment for chronic low back pain. It’s not clear how antidepressants help relieve chronic pain. It is believed that antidepressants’ influence on chemical messengers may affect pain signals in the body.

Physical Therapy


Physical therapists can teach you how to sit, stand, and move in a way that keeps your spine in proper alignment and alleviates strain on your back. They also can teach you specialized exercises that strengthen the core muscles that support your back. A strong core is one of the best ways to prevent more back pain in the future. Studies show that when you increase your strength, flexibility, and endurance, back pain decreases — but it takes time.

Don’t Rest an Achy Back


Doctors used to prescribe bed rest for back pain. But now we know that lying still is one of the worst things you can do. It can make back pain worse and lead to other complications. Don’t rest for more than a day or two. It’s important to get up and slowly start moving again. Exercise has been found to be one of the most effective ways to relieve back pain quickly. Try swimming, walking, or yoga.

Ice and Heat


Regular applications of ice to the painful areas on your back may help reduce pain and inflammation from an injury. Try this several times a day for up to 20 minutes each time. Wrap the ice pack in a thin towel to protect your skin. After a few days, switch to heat. Apply a heating pad or warm pack to help relax your muscles and increase blood flowing to the affected area. You also can try warm baths to help with relaxation. To avoid burns and tissue damage, never sleep on a heating pad.

Hands-On Therapy


Does massage really ease back pain once you leave the table? A recent study found that one weekly massage over a 10 week period improved pain and functioning for people with chronic back pain. Benefits lasted about six months but dwindled after a year. Another hands-on approach is spinal manipulation. Performed by a licensed specialist, this treatment can help relieve structural problems of the spine and restore lost mobility.

Nerve Stimulation


Research is being conducted on certain treatments that stimulate nerves to reduce chronic back pain. Your doctor may consider adding acupuncture to your treatment plan if you aren’t finding relief with more conservative care. Another method your doctor might suggest is transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation (TENS), during which mild electric pulses are delivered to the nerves to block incoming pain signals.

Talk Therapy


It may seem strange to see a psychologist for back pain. But studies show that cognitive behavioral therapy is very effective in the short and long term at helping chronic back pain. For example, CBT may target how people with back pain think about physical activity — and why they may be avoiding it — to help change the way they respond to being active. People who do CBT have reported significant decreases in pain and disability.



Biofeedback uses a special machine that helps you train your brain to control your response to pain. You learn to moderate your breathing, heart rate, blood flow, and muscle tension. Some studies have found that it is better than medication in easing back pain, reducing pain intensity by about 30%. The best part: it has no side effects.

Spinal Injections


A doctor may recommend a spinal injection to help reduce your back pain. There are different types of injections that doctors specializing in pain relief may use. For example, an injection of a corticosteroid can help relieve inflammation that is causing the pain. Depending on the kind of injection, your doctor may limit your number of doses per year to avoid possible side effects.

Back Surgery


If a bulging disc is putting pressure on a nerve, your surgeon might recommend a discectomy to remove some disc material. Or a laminectomy might be recommended to decompress an area where there is pressure on the nerves or spinal cord. Spinal fusion may be done to help stabilize the spine. Like all surgeries, these carry risks and aren’t always successful. So they should be options of last resort.

How to Develop and Practice Self-Regulation

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Self-regulation is the ability to control one’s behavior, emotions, and thoughts in the pursuit of long-term goals. More specifically, emotional self-regulation refers to the ability to manage disruptive emotions and impulses—in other words, to think before acting.

Self-regulation also involves the ability to rebound from disappointment and to act in a way consistent with your values. It is one of the five key components of emotional intelligence.

This article discusses how self-regulation develops and the important impact it can have. It also covers some common problems you may face and what you can do to self-regulate more effectively.

How Self-Regulation Develops

Your ability to self-regulate as an adult has roots in your childhood. Learning how to self-regulate is an important skill that children learn both for emotional maturity and, later, for social connections.

In an ideal situation, a toddler who throws tantrums grows into a child who learns how to tolerate uncomfortable feelings without throwing a fit, and later into an adult who is able to control impulses to act based on uncomfortable feelings.

In essence, maturity reflects the ability to face emotional, social, and cognitive threats in the environment with patience and thoughtfulness. If this description reminds you of mindfulness, that’s no accident—mindfulness does indeed relate to the ability to self-regulate.

Why Self-Regulation Is Important

Self-regulation involves taking a pause between a feeling and an action—taking the time to think things through, make a plan, wait patiently. Children often struggle with these behaviors, and adults may as well.

It’s easy to see how a lack of self-regulation will cause problems in life. A child who yells or hits other children out of frustration will not be popular among peers and may face discipline at school.

An adult with poor self-regulation skills may lack self-confidence and self-esteem and have trouble handling stress and frustration. Often, this might result in anger or anxiety. In more severe cases, it can even lead to being diagnosed with a mental health condition.

Qualities of Self-Regulators

In general, people who are adept at self-regulating tend to be able to:

  • Act in accordance with their values
  • Calm themselves when upset
  • Cheer themselves when feeling down
  • Maintain open communication
  • Persist through difficult times
  • Put forth their best effort
  • Remain flexible and adapting to situations
  • See the good in others
  • Stay clear about their intentions
  • Take control of situations when necessary
  • View challenges as opportunities

Self-regulation allows you to act in accordance with your deeply held values or social conscience and to express yourself appropriately. If you value academic achievement, it will allow you to study instead of slack off before a test. If you value helping others, it will allow you to help a coworker with a project, even if you are on a tight deadline yourself.

In its most basic form, self-regulation allows us to be more resilient and bounce back from failure while also staying calm under pressure. Researchers have found that self-regulation skills are tied to a range of positive health outcomes. This includes better resilience to stress, increased happiness, and better overall well-being.


Self-regulation can play an important role in relationships, well-being, and overall success in life. People who can manage their emotions and control their behavior are better able to manage stress, deal with conflict, and achieve their goals.

Common Self-Regulation Problems

How do problems with self-regulation develop? It could start early, such as an infant being neglected. A child who does not feel safe and secure, or who is unsure whether their needs will be met, may have trouble self-soothing and self-regulating.

Later, a child, teen, or adult may struggle with self-regulation, either because this ability was not developed during childhood, or because of a lack of strategies for managing difficult feelings. When left unchecked, over time this could lead to more serious issues such as mental health disorders and risky behaviors such as substance use.

Effective Strategies for Self-Regulation

If self-regulation is so important, why were most of us never taught strategies for using this skill? Most often, parents, teachers, and other adults expect that children will “grow out of” the tantrum phase. While this is true for the most part, all children and adults can benefit from learning concrete strategies for self-regulation.


According to Jon Kabat-Zinn, PhD, founder of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR), mindfulness is “the awareness that arises from paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment and non-judgmentally.”

By engaging in skills such as focused breathing and gratitude, mindfulness enables us to put some space between ourselves and our reactions, leading to better focus and feelings of calmness and relaxation.

In a 2019 review of 27 research studies, mindfulness was shown to improve attention, which in turn helped with regulating negative emotions and improving executive function.

Cognitive Reappraisal

Cognitive reappraisal, or cognitive reframing, is another strategy that can be used to improve self-regulation abilities. This strategy involves changing thought patterns. Specifically, cognitive reappraisal involves reinterpreting a situation in order to change the emotional response to it.

For example, imagine a friend did not return your calls or texts for several days. Rather than thinking that this reflected something about yourself, such as “my friend hates me,” you might instead think, “my friend must be really busy.” Research has shown that using cognitive reappraisal in everyday life is related to experiencing more positive and fewer negative emotions.

In a 2016 study examining the link between self-regulation strategies (i.e., mindfulness, cognitive reappraisal, and emotion suppression) and emotional well-being, researchers found cognitive reappraisal to be associated with daily positive emotions, including feelings of enthusiasm, happiness, satisfaction, and excitement.

Some other useful strategies for self-regulation include acceptance and problem-solving. In contrast, unhelpful strategies that people sometimes use include avoidance, distraction, suppression, and worrying.


You can improve your self-regulation skills by practicing mindfulness and changing how you think about the situation.

Putting Self-Regulation Into Practice

If you or your child needs help with self-regulation, there are strategies you can use to improve skills in this area.

Helping Kids With Self-Regulation

In children, parents can help develop self-regulation through routines (e.g., regular mealtimes and consistent bedtime routines). Routines help children learn what to expect, which makes it easier for them to feel comfortable.

When children act in ways that don’t demonstrate self-regulation, ignore their requests. For example, if they interrupt a conversation, don’t stop your discussion to attend to their needs. Tell that that they will need to wait.

Self-Regulation Tips for Adults

The first step to practicing self-regulation is to recognize that everyone has a choice in how to react to situations. While you may feel like life has dealt you a bad hand, it’s not the hand you are dealt, but how you react to it that matters most.

  • Recognize that in every situation you have three options: approach, avoidance, and attack. While it may feel as though your choice of behavior is out of your control, it’s not. Your feelings may sway you more toward one path, but you are more than those feelings.
  • Become aware of your emotions. Do you feel like running away from a difficult situation? Do you feel like lashing out in anger at someone who has hurt you?
  • Monitor your body to get clues about how you are feeling if it is not immediately obvious to you. For example, a rapidly increasing heart rate may be a sign that you are entering a state of rage or even experiencing a panic attack.

Start to restore balance by focusing on your deeply held values, rather than those transient emotions. Look beyond momentary discomfort to the larger picture.


Recognizing your options can help you put your self-regulation skills into practice. Focus on identifying what you are feeling, but remember that feelings are not facts. Giving yourself time to stay calm and deliberate your options can help you make better choices.

A Word From Verywell

Once you’ve learned this delicate balancing act, you will begin to self-regulate more often, and it will become a way of life for you. Developing self-regulation skills will improve your resilience and ability to face difficult circumstances in life.

However, if you find you are unable to teach yourself to self-regulate, consider consulting a mental health professional. A trained therapist can help you learn and implement strategies and skills specific to your situation. Therapy can also be a great place to practice those skills for use in your everyday life.


How can I practice self-regulation?

You can practice self-regulation staying calm and thinking carefully before you react. Engaging in relaxation tactics like deep breathing or mindfulness can help you keep your cool while deliberately considering the consequences of your actions can help you focus on the potential outcomes

What does it mean to be emotionally intelligent?

Emotional intelligence refers to a person’s ability to recognize, interpret, and regulate emotions. This ability plays an important part in self-regulation and also contributes to the development and maintenance of healthy relationships.

How can I help my child learn self-regulation?

You can help teach your child self-control by managing your own stress, remaining calm, and modeling effective self-regulation skills. You can also strengthen this ability by helping children recognize their emotions, teaching problem-solving skills, setting limits, and enforcing rules with natural consequences.

By: Arlin Cuncic

Why Self Adoration is Vital to Wellness

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By: Victoria Myers

As the e-book launches tomorrow (!!!), I want to discuss why we intentionally chose for self adoration to be the first, and largest, pillar. Because I think that honestly surprises people.

When we come to wellness, whether its to heal our bodies or just learn ways to feel our best on a daily basis, I don’t feel self adoration is discussed enough.

We can easily see how food, exercise and maybe a bit of stress and sleep discussed when it comes to healing and wellness. But as I’ve seen in my own life, and the lives of our clients at Nourishing Minds Nutrition, if we don’t come at wellness with self adoration and a partnership with our bodies, it can easily become another way to control, manipulate, obsess and try to perfect. (P.S. If you want to read more of my personal story on using self adoration and living instinctually to heal my health issues I discussed it here in the Facebook group this week).

I fear wellness has become the thing that allows us to continue disordered behaviors. Orthorexia, a true eating disorder where there is an extreme preoccupation with eating healthy so much that it impacts your life, is becoming more and more prevalent. (Note: Orthorexia is one of my specialties in our practice. If you are seeking help with this while healing health issues, I’d love to help!)

The reality is its only a psuedorecovery. The obsession and preoccupation with food still remains, just in another form. The truth is, wellness should always give you life, not take life experiences away from you. If wellness or trying to heal a health issue (like a digestion or hormonal issue) is impacting the way you live your daily life, I’d even argue that true healing will not be able to occur.

But the amazing thing is, when we partner with our bodies, when we chose to love and accept it and treat it with grace and kindness, true healing and true wellness can absolutely happen.

Without self adoration, which is unconditional self love & self acceptance, our actions are not coming from the right place. But with self adoration, our thoughts and our actions can manifest healing. They can show you what true wellness is.

Choosing to love my body, has been one of the most powerful actions I have ever made in making me feel my best and heal myself. It allowed me to discover my own version of wellness, and not try to conform to others. Now that I know that I can feel this amazing in my body, I can’t imagine living life any other way.

So if you are trying to figure out intuitive eating, or discover true wellness, or perhaps healing a health issue, I promise you self adoration needs to come first.

You are deserving and worthy of loving yourself. And if you need steps along the way to discover how to love yourself, I hope the e-book can help.

The e-book will be available starting tonight at midnight, for 14.95 for twenty four hours only, and then will increase to $24.95. If you purchase it within the first 7 days, you’ll also receive a free supplement recommendation handout. The e-book details the six pillars of wellness and how to live instinctually. Starting first (of course) with self adoration, and then stress management, sleep, movement, social connection and ends with steps to eat intuitively. I CANNOT WAIT for you to see it, I am so incredibly proud of it and I know Meg is as well. I’ll be sharing the link to purchase it in tomorrow’s blog post as well as all my social media channels.



Wildlife and Climate Change

Catoctin Mountain ParkRock Creek Park

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Climate change has produced a number of threats to wildlife throughout our parks. Rising temperatures lower many species survival rates due to changes that lead to less food, less successful reproduction, and interfering with the environment for native wildlife. These detrimental changes are already apparent in our National Capital Area parks.

Rising Temperatures and Invasive Species

Rising temperatures risk destabilizing the balance between wildlife and their ecosystem. As plants adapt to changing warming patterns, usually by blooming earlier or shifting to cooler locations, the wildlife that has adapted to them will be forced to face new environments.

Some species will struggle to find nutritious enough food to fit their existing gut biomes. Pollinators, for example, must feed from flowers that are blooming earlier in the year. Other animals may find their habitats are no longer able to support their biology.

However, it is also possible that some animals will do better in a warmer climate. Those species will outcompete others, expanding their own territory and food sources. But not all wildlife belong where they flourish. When species adapted to their environments lose their natural advantages, that leaves room for invasive species to multiply in the changing environment. Emerald Ash Borers and Gypsy Moths are examples of invasive species commonly found in the National Capital Region that have devastated native communities.

Native Brook Trout at Risk

Brook trout in the Catoctin Mountain Park offer a clear example of how climate change effects interact with invasive species spread. The brook trout is a freshwater fish species native to eastern North America, and it requires cold, clear stream habitats. Competing with the brook trout are nonnative brown trout which can tolerate higher temperatures.

Increases in air temperature are warming aquatic habitats, leading to an overall decrease in brook trout and giving the survival advantage to the invasive brown trout. A 2017 study from the US Geological Survey found that brook trout are capable of adapting and foraging for food in warmer waters but not when they’re competing against brown trout.

Flooding and Loss of Habitats

Increased precipitation from climate change is contributing to more frequent and extreme weather events such as flooding. The higher frequency of flooding has detrimental effects on wildlife because they can destroy key pieces of ecosystems and habitats.

There is the obvious destructive effect that floods have on the environment—such as flooded land and burned forests—but they also have other lasting effects like severe water pollution. Speedy flood waters spend little time in a purification place (like in the ground or in a wetland) so the surface flow doesn’t lose the soil particulates pollutants it has picked up. Their speed also erodes streambanks and soil surface. New locations of standing water can drown tree roots, too.

Wood Thrush Migration

The wood thrush is the official bird of Washington, DC, and can be found in Rock Creek Park, but changes in climate may eliminate their regional population within the century. In addition to altering this songbird’s DC habitat and food sources, climate change negatively interferes with the wood thrush’s lengthy migration from Central America.

Wood thrushes fly up from the tropical forests of Central America every summer to their northern breeding grounds, anywhere from Florida to Maine. They need dependable ripe fruit and insect populations to fuel their journey, which may not be available as the climate warms. Furthermore, their usual breeding grounds are growing warmer, meaning they lose habitable areas and must fly farther north.

What Can You Do?

Though climate change has and will continue to hurt wildlife in many ways, there are multiple efforts to mitigate its effects. The National Park Service is taking steps to prepare for and reduce the detrimental effects of climate change, and everyone who visits can take meaningful steps to help.

Celebrating 300 in 365 days

Photo by KEREM KSLR on Pexels.com

Going through my stats I realized I was about to hit a milestone without realizing it. I had the fantasy that I could bring Hps back in a crazy time in the world plus changing the format from print to website. I would be doing it solo this time.

No team of passionate people to feed or get inspired by. Nor the same people who supported my concept of spreading positive inspiring people and their actions that brings thought and smiles to others who might not have known if it wasn’t for outlets like mine. Going through my own personal up’s and downs through

covid of all things and I managed to pull off 300 post in a year. I know I’ve made post about making achievements and acknowledging them so I’m taking that advice here today. I have to admit that knowing one post received over 2 MILLION VIEWS!!!! I am still in awe over the fact, that many people watched that video and liked it. So to know that people are paying attention and know that HPS exists and I’m doing this SOLO.

I still have a lot to work on, like finding new ways to get interviews that would fit with this website. I could say something about the negative but I will say that the negativity that I’ve received has definitely inspired me because now my new goal is to raise that 300 to 365 and knowing getting it to that number in a year is something to be proud of. I did something right and again

I want to say thank you for wanting more from this site and giving me the motivation to give it to you. I’m honored and excited that HPS is slowly growing its fanbase back along with new insights. If I could personally thank each person for each like or view of my work I would but I know I can do just that by continuing to find people and topics to make you hit that like or subscribe button. You humble me and remind me that I do have a purpose in this world and my little spec of a contribution grows every day and night. HPS is my baby and she’s almost ready to stand up by herself as I look on with a tear building from being so proud of her growth.

300….yes I did that!!!

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